Looking for Nirodaha

sadness & gratitude

2009-05-19T21:50:00.005+02:00

Guruji r.i.p.

Aum
Trayambakam Yajamahe
Sugandhim Pushtivardhanam
Urva Rukamiva Bandhanaat
Mrityor Mokshiye Maamritat
Svaha

light and love

i wish i was the moon

2009-05-14T22:38:00.001+02:00

on my way home tonight i met a little hedgehog who'd strayed from his neighborhood, probably the park a block away from where we met. i was still so amazed - never have i seen a hedgehog on a city street! poor thing, i hope it found it's way back home again...

another long day...

2009-05-05T22:29:00.004+02:00

... has come to an end. i'm so tired and really should be in bed by now... all i can think of is how i'm gonna be able to wake up tomorrow and drag myself to practice? tomorrow, though, i'm not in such a hurry. if i can only get to the shala reasonably early i will have time to do my whole practice.

you can tell spring is here and that the temperature is warmer because there is a really nice heat in the shala these days. it doesn't take as long to work up a good body heat and a nice sweat. soon we will have to open windows if we're not to faint from overheating ;-)

i do love my shala! we're a nice little group who sweat together every other morning and we have a very dedicated teacher taking such good care of us. some day when i'm not this tired and have a little more time i'll write a little more about my shala mates and the wonderful room i've landed in. i imagine it's a lot like Liz's shala over in Austin. whenever she's telling stories about their group i feel like she's talking about us :)

are you human?

2009-05-04T22:12:00.003+02:00

this has sort of been my theme song today... i love the rhythms and the mystical tone of it, especially the last minute or so. it's been my friend in the ipod all day long.

i was expecting a crazy day when i woke up this morning. it kinda was, but not as crazy as i could've been, had all the things that were planned come true. lucky me they didn't. but still, i've been running from a meeting to the next, having just moments in-between to get other stuff done. and the rest of this week looks a bit the same... ugh... what a contrast to the relaxing life i had this weekend!

my mind is blank at this point... i'm so tired i can hardly recognize any verbal thoughts at all. i should just get to bed fast now. tomorrow i need to be at the shala really early if i am to have a decent practice. so, goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite!

Gemini

2009-05-03T19:39:00.005+02:00

on the boat, on my way back home after a lovely couple of days with Gemini. it's been a pleasant mixture of work an relaxation. she also treated me twice, needles and she got to try out her new moxa-lamp. really, REALLY nice :) imagine laying on the bed, all covered up with blankets and covers, with acupuncture pins in all the little trigger points that usually hurt and give you pain. and on top of this, a constant heat coming from this 'lamp', warming the achy shoulder, scaring all the cold and pain away... i almost fell asleep!

she's a very special person, my Gemini. she amazes me all the time, so wise and strong. i forget she's so much younger than i am, but then i realize that all the energy she has is of course much due to her youth. me, i'm an old lady in comparison ;) anyway, sometimes it's like she can see right trough me. so very observant and curious. always asking questions. it's like she's constantly building a puzzle. but it's not only for her own 'pleasure' or 'fun', it's because she wants the best for people around her. being educated in traditional chinese medicine and acupuncture she's diagnosing through watching and listening to people. you can get statements from her like "he's got a weak liver", "there's a lot of wind in her neck" or "you have weak yang". so, i have cold and wind in my left shoulder. she's also working on balancing my yang, since that imbalance is the reason for my winter depressions. and she's not only working with the pins. i often get moxa and also she has a little electric box that she connects to the pins to run electricity through them.

not to forget the food! i always get advice on what to eat and how to prepare food and so forth. today she gave me the recipe for a black bean soup with miso, ginger and sesame oil. soooo good and really easy to make. i have some in a jar with me here on the boat and now i'm going to heat it in the microwave oven at the cafeteria. yum!

here i am

2009-05-02T18:50:00.002+02:00

i arrived to Gotland at midnight the day before yesterday and Gemini picked me up at the boat terminal. we slept at her friends place in the centre of Visby before going out to her house yesterday. we had a full day and so much to do, that i didn't have time for my assignment, bad girl...

Gotland is a beautiful island and the weather has been gorgeous since i arrived. still cold, but sunny with a clear bleu sky. spring is a little later here than in Stockholm, but here i have the time to really drink it in and enjoy the wonders of nature coming to life.

Gemini is renovating this house that have some parts as old as a couple of hundred years. let's just say there is A LOT to do. right now she's having a couple helping her to make a fantastic plastered brick stove, with a baking oven and it will also be the main source for heating in the wintertime. this couple have a business together where they build and make those very special stoves. she is russian and he is native here from Gotland. they are such a cute pair, lovely people! i think they stole my heart :)

the sun is setting and i'm sitting in Gemini's garden while she's finishing up some stuff. we got up at 6 this morning, did practice (we took resting day yesterday), had a long nice breakfast and after the couple arrived we took the car to go and run a lot of errands. when we got back at 2pm some friends of Gemini came over for lunch and we barbecued in the garden. so now, at 6.45pm, i'm totally done. i wonder if it's ok to go to bed already? ;)

yawn... (april 30)

2009-05-02T18:46:00.002+02:00

today has been a long, long, ridiculously long day - started at 5.20am getting up to practice and it's now 9pm and i'm finally on the boat. (i'll have to post this later cause i can't seem to reach my wireless broadband from here.) ugh, i'm completely exhausted, on the edge of passing out... it takes about three hours to get there so it'll be midnight when poor Gemini is picking me up. we'll see if she's up to driving out to the house at that hour, or if we can borough her friend's flat in Visby and crash there till tomorrow.

jeez, i'm so exhausted i can't even write! my brain is shutting down. i'm in my seat and people are running back and forth around me - going to the bathroom, getting food in the canteen, finding their seats or whatever. i just had Karunesh's heart chakra meditation on the ipod and it's soooo soothing! i think i'm going to fall asleep as soon as i shut down the laptop.

saw my sweetheart Bumblebee today. there really wasn't enough time but i just didn't give a damn, i had to see her before going away. she's a fantastic kid, the youngest at her daycare, and everyone loves her because she's so cut and happy. since she started about a month ago she's developed so fast. i guess it's because she's trying to keep up with the older kids, doing the same things as they. was so amazed to see her climbing the ladder to the slide, all by herself!!!

ok, i'm breaking my own rules here... as i'm totally incapable to think this is taking waaaay to much time to write. so, i'll stop here. i think you get the picture. i'll take a nap and hope i can fall asleep when i finally get to go to bed, for real...

yawn...

of busy bees and bumblebees

2009-04-29T21:42:00.005+02:00

been busy bee today! i hardly had time to stop for two seconds and think of anything else but work. tomorrow i'm taking half day off and half the day is free anyway since it's Walpurgis Night and on friday it's May Day which in this socialist country is a holiday, ha ha!

anyway, i'm not going to watch any bonfires tomorrow cause i'm going to Gotland to visit Gemini, my dear friend and acupuncturist, who bought herself a house there. the boat leaves in the evening and i wont be there until midnight, but i have about a ton of things i need to do before i go. first thing, of course, is practice and after i'm having breakfast with Gentle Rock. we try to do that after practice once in while but lately we both seem to have been so busy, having to run off to work as soon as we're done with practice. so, tomorrow we'll have a chance to catch up a bit more than a few words in the shala and comments on FB :)

after that i'll go home to pack, finish up some work i didn't have time for today and do my taxes... bleh... ya ya, it needs to be done so i'll just do it.

and then, in the afternoon, comes the prime of my day! i'll be going to pick up Bumbles at daycare :) yay! i just have to see her before i go away for the whole weekend. i'm looking at her lovely little face right now. here is the pic i have for the desktop background on my laptop.

oups, time's up and i'm going to bed. 15 minutes isn't much, but hey! that's the whole point of this assignment. i gotta be quick and dirty ;)

homework

2009-04-28T11:47:00.002+02:00

this is an experiment. i have given myself as 'homework' to do every day for the coming weeks that i'm going to blog for 15 minutes every day. i should've started this last week, but i've been putting it off... haven't been able to push myself to do it! part of the experiment is that i should just write and not edit myself (too much!) and not do any spell checking (which i just did!). i think i'll just have to look at it as a process cause i just wont be able to let go of that completely, not just yet anyway...

so, i hope these 15 minutes will be enough time to just dump what's on my mind at the moment. i'll have to accept that sometimes it wont be a masterpiece, well, most of the time it wont, he he...

oh, the mamas and the papas just came on my play list - california dreamin'... on such a winters day... next winter i should really try to go to california!

i caught a cold last week and haven't been practicing since last thursday. but today i was back on my mat :) was ok, stuffed nose but still able to breathe. only did up to janu sirsasana a. you don't want to overdo it on the first day, ha ha ha!

time's up! have a great day! CU tomorrow :)

Happy Birthday!

2009-03-23T16:56:00.010+01:00

A few weeks ago we celebrated Bumblebee's first birthday and today is my 1 year blogiversary!

So much has happened in a year... The blogosphere is changing; my practice is changing; my left shoulder is still bothering me but it's slowly healing under the guarding eyes and hands of my wonderful teacher Mercury; my job situation is changing, don't know yet if it's for the better or if I'll finally decide to go elsewhere. We'll see what happens...

I still have hopes for this blog, but like I wrote in my very first post, I've never felt I had much to say about myself or my life in a blog or a web site, and that may be the key to why I haven't been able to keep up my writing for the last months. I'm a very social being (some of you know this from other channels :) and I think maybe my way to express myself is in the interaction with others. Blogging is a somewhat lonesome activity up to the point when/if readers start to comment. Anyway, I AM working on it, so please, bear with me...

And the baby is not a baby anymore! She's growing into a little girl so fast you can't believe it!!! She's got six teeth and is walking and talking. Alright, no real words yet, but talking she is. Here's a little clip to prove it :) (sorry about the really poor quality of this... my camera is finally quitting on me... need to get a new one!) The clip is from after her birthday party. Everyone is running around, cleaning up the place, while she is still, after so many hours and soooo many people, just a sparkling little bundle of sunshine! How is this even possible? I love her so much it hurts...

If this can't make you smile, what can?

2008-11-15T21:19:00.004+01:00

I'm watching this over and over again, and I find myself with this silly, giant smile on my face every time! I'm going to kill myself with this cuteness!!!

At the same time I'm worried and sad for sweet Annabella and her Scout... I'm sending hugs and warm, happy thoughts their way, hoping everything turns out well. And since I can't give Anna a real orchid for her new office, here is a virtual one. Love to you both...

Of Bumblebees and Owls

2008-10-26T14:03:00.003+01:00

Who would've thought?

2008-10-19T22:02:00.004+02:00

I just lived through a wonderful weekend, so delightful in many ways and I also got a lot of stuff done that I've been putting off for far too long. I guess therapy is kicking in? Seriously, even if I still have a long way to go, it's really nice to see some progress, be able to feel a difference from just a couple of months ago.

On Friday I had the day off and after I'd dragged my sorry ass through practice, it was so nice to go back home, have breakfast and then take a nap before my dad came over to help out with a few things. In the evening I met up with Grace and a few of her colleagues for dinner before we went to see Vicky Christina Barcelona. How wonderful it is to have a good laugh in the company of friends!

And then, on Saturday night, Game Boy and LeapYear had a cocktail party to celebrate their 80th birthday! Muzzy and The Ed also came and there were a lot of other couples that I've met before but don't get see very often (everyone has kids!). It was a lovely evening and I had quite a few glasses of champagne :) Still, aiming to get up to practice the next morning...

Strange enough, it wasn't too hard to get out of bed, even though my head felt a bit heavy. Went to the shala with absolutely no expectations at all. Well, maybe just a little... that it would be a somewhat dense practice and that I wouldn't do it all... To my great surprise, my breath found the flow almost immediately, and for the first time in a very, very long time I noticed small, but distinct changes in almost every asana. Overall, I seemed more aware than usual which made it the most delightful practice. And if that wasn't enough, my shoulder and arm almost didn't give me any trouble at all :) Afterwards we went for the usual Sunday coffee at the nearby coffee place. What a joy!

For the first time in such a long time, I'm going to bed, on a Sunday night, feeling happy and content with my weekend, and even slightly positive about the upcoming week. I can't tell you how good that feels...

xxxx

"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message"

2008-10-05T19:27:00.001+02:00

Who put chewing gum in my brain?

2008-09-17T16:47:00.004+02:00

I'm so fcuking tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, and thinking a thought through is nearly impossible. I almost didn't get up to go to practice this morning because my head didn't want to leave the pillow and later I fell asleep on the bus to work...

Besides that I just need to brag a little, although, most of you will probably think I'm even more insane than you ever could imagine ;-)

We've been away with work for two days on some kind of development conference for my unit. We went to a charming place outside Stockholm, in the archipelago. In the evening of the first day there was some time for recreation and a few of us decided to take a sauna. The facilities were excellent! A wooden fired sauna on a pier and only a couple of meters to get in the water. And so I did. For your information (Carl!) it was 52 degrees and just marvelous :-D

Silly Chitta?

2008-09-11T12:09:00.005+02:00

Is it alright for someone how's supposed to be kind of depressed to make silly stuff like these? Well, I couldn't resist :) Make your own at www.yearbookyourself.com

The Fortune Cookie Bacio

2008-09-08T17:06:00.004+02:00

"Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer."

Chitta needs to post...

2008-09-03T17:48:00.005+02:00

To tell you the truth, life hit me, so HARD, after I got back from yoga camp. I don't like to whine, but I have to tell you straight up, I'm a total wreck... My self-confidence has gone right out the window, I don't know who I am anymore or what I'm good at in this world. I suck! There have been days when I wished I'd get a deadly disease so that I could just vanish from the face of the earth...

Of course nothing of this is true, I know that, but it's how I feel and right now I can't see a way out of it, don't know where to begin to sort out this mess and get back on track. The chittas are vritting a bit too much. Or as a very dear friend defined it: my mind is stuck in self amplifying deviation loops.

Most of this, I'm sure, emanates from the fcuking situation at work. Partly due to lots of stress that's been going on for far to long, and partly because of issues of leadership and value systems in the work environment (which of course also is stressful). All of these things can be dealt with, but they are really not my responsibility to sort out. I'm just the one getting squeezed in the middle.

I know, I know, time to find another job! Only problem is that promoting myself with a non existent self-confidence will probably not render me a new job...

I've had several talks with my boss, who is very understanding and considerate, and he SAYS he will do all in his power to help me get back on track. I'm not so sure though... he's also very anxious and unclear in his leadership. But I'm prepared to stick around a little more and at least take some advantage of the situation, let him do what he can do. Hopefully that will get me in a better state so that I can get the hell out of here.

For now, it seems that the only things that are joyful and make me a little happy is Bumblebee and my practice. I need to hold on to that and not let anything interfere or disturb it.

Practice has been good ever since yoga camp, great in fact. I've been able to keep at least 4 day weeks so far and seeing Mercury this regularly is getting my practice into a fantastic groove. Not so much in a touching-the-universe-kind-of-way, more like a I-could-do-this-every-day-for-the-rest-of-my-life-kind-of-way.

So, there you have it...

...and here is Bumblebee!

Me(me) needs...

2008-08-21T23:05:00.004+02:00

LI Ashtangini tagged me for this meme where you go to Google, put in ‘[your given name] needs’ in the text window, hit 'search' and see what comes out. Hilarious! These were mine:

Chitta needs a boyfriend (doh!)

Chitta needs daylight (SAD, right?)

Chitta needs to put away things or otherwise clean apartment (well, who ever made this up knew what they were doing...)

Chitta needs to turn 22 more or gain 540 more Werewolf points to reach the next level: Cyber Werewolf! Chitta should get out there and bite some people! (yes please ;-)

Chitta needs mom and dad to be around a lot (ok, so not every one of these have to be true, do they?)

Chitta needs to start learning to do this stuff (what's *this*????)

Chitta needs to come home again (physically or mentally?)

Chitta needs one too (he he... ;-)

Hmmm, it doesn't say how many to tag, so I'll just tag as many as I like :) Liz, Susananda, Eeyore, and Arturo, consider yourselves tagged!

I'm The Empress?

2008-08-18T19:10:00.007+02:00

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

A day in the life of a happy yogi

2008-08-17T14:11:00.009+02:00

06.30 wake up, take a long, warm shower and get dressed

06.56 go to the shala

07.00 get on the mat

~08.30 savasana

08.45 have breakfast: grape fruit, buckwheat porridge filled with nuts, fruit, flaxseeds and topped with cinnamon, tea and/or coffee

11.00 technique class, philosophy and chanting with Morning Star
(~12.30 short brake for fruit and drinks)

14.00 lunch

afternoon - depending on the weather - hang out with other yogis, read, take a trip to local sights, sleep

18.30 dinner

sauna

20.30 meditation

22.00 go to bed

Preview

2008-08-14T20:36:00.003+02:00

On my way to practice

The view from my mat

(to be continued...)

I <3 radio

2008-08-08T22:48:00.015+02:00

Oh. My. Gosh. I just listened to an amazing program on the radio. So thought provoking, so inspiring, such a punch to the stomach.

We have a marvelous tradition on Swedish radio called Sommar. It's a radio show broadcast daily during the summer and every day is hosted by different people how get to talk about whatever they like and play music of their own choice. Mostly it's celebrities ranging from scientists, musicians, athletes, politicians, authors, artists and others with a reputation in their profession. Nowadays you can listen to the program on the web or as podcast, so you don't need to put on the radio any specific hour of the day. I usually listen to the web version while doing stuff around the house. Sometimes the host is no one I know of, but I tend to listen anyway and mostly I don't regret it. The shows are often interesting, funny, inspiring and thought provoking. And you get to listen to a lot of really good music from many different genres.

Anyway, today I got to Raymond Ahlgren (who is the son of one of Salvador Allende's closest men, Paredes). In a very creative way, he told the story of his own transformation for the past few years, the things he'd learned and new perspectives he had gained on his life and living in general.

Among other things, he spoke about how procrastination creates a kind of loss of time and energy. He described how thoughts that are not carried through are littering our brains. All of those things undone are still in our thoughts and filling up mental space with anguish to get them done. He compared the human brain to a hard drive, that when becoming fragmented will be slowed down and working poorly. In the same way we become tiered and slowed down, loosing power to get on with our lives. A tool to overcome this that he'd used was to try decreasing the distance, in terms of time, between thought and action. I find that a very useful way of looking at it.

Another subject he spoke about was how many of us search to find a partner that will make us whole. He argued that if we're not whole ourselves we are likely to attract a partner that isn't either. Say that we are both half and thinking that together we will be one. Though, simple math shows that 0.5 x 0.5 equals 0.25. Even if one of us is whole it would be 1 x 0.5 = 0.5. So, his point being that instead of creating wholeness and energy, we will instead drain ourselves and become less than we were before. In other words, we can not expect anyone else to heal us or make us a whole person. We need to do that ourselves.

Now you're all wondering what's new about this? Well, nothing really. These are all things I believe most of us are well aware of. Still, it doesn't hurt to be reminded once in a while, and it's really inspiring to hear it put in an eloquent and concrete way. We all need inspiration and some new perspectives, no?

To end this post on a lighter note, I give you a picture of Bumblebee in her endearing little dragon jacket!

I ran away with the circus!

2008-08-04T19:01:00.016+02:00

Have been visiting with my friends the Circus Family for a couple of days. We've had lovely days at their summer house, a fantastic place where one can really relax and just be together. And they are a fantastic family to be a part of for a while :)

Circus Dad and I studied at the university together more than ten years ago. Since then he got married to Juggler Princess and moved back to his hometown a bit south of Stockholm. They had their second son, Smootchie, four months ago. He's a very content baby and so easy to have around, although, a baby is always a baby. It's cool to see another baby at the same developmental stage as Bumblebee was just a couple of months ago.

Smootchie's older brother, Calvin, is Prince Charming and a real cutie, but he is also a handful! I think I'll have make him a t-shirt that says 'I want!'. He's very determined ;-)

And everywhere you go, the Circus dog, Hobbes, follows you around. I think he might be the sweetest dog I ever met! We've gone for long walks in the woods. Every morning, before getting up, he came and snuzzled with me in my bed. And when you sit on a chair he comes and puts his little head in your lap or between your knees and looks at you with his big, cute eyes.

Calvin and Hobbes chasing bubbles

The Circus tent
Juggler Princess, Calvin and his best friend takes a swim in the pool
More animals at the Circus (bats! click image to enlarge)
Smootchie!

The observant reader probably noticed I haven't mentioned yoga for a while. That's simply because I decided my practice is also on vacation :) Instead of feeling guilty for not practicing, I just took a few weeks off. Next week I'm going to yoga camp and I will use this week to slowly get back into my practice. Will be sore, that's for sure.

Happy Birthday Bella Anna!

2008-08-02T11:40:00.005+02:00

Vi e' så glada ida'
att du har födelseda'
att du e' född just ida'
Hurra hurra! HURRA HURRA!!! *)

Sweet darling Anna, I wish you an amazing, fabulous birthday, filled with snuzzles, shibas and cupcakes! Today is the beginning of a wonderful year in your life. Remember, you're the hero in your own story :-D

ROAR! MEOWTH!

Sunshine-y hugs, lots of love and glittering pazzels over the miles!

xxxxxxxx

/Chitta

*) This is Grodan Boll's birthday song, not the most commonly sung on birthdays. Though, among my friends it is tradition to sing this one :) Basically, it says we're happy today that it's your birthday and that this is the day you were born!

Fucking neighbors

2008-07-28T23:55:00.002+02:00

I live in an apartment building, facing the back yard and another similar building. Almost every sound of what's going on reverberates and is heard if you have a window open or sit on the balcony. For instance, if the guy opposite to me is on the phone, I can hear it.

It's a beautiful serene and quite night and I could hear the blackbird singing at twilight. Maybe people are exhibitionists and like the fact that others can take part of what they're doing, but this, I don't think I've ever experienced. A couple on the top floor in the opposite building just fucked. With their balcony doors wide open.

Deduction

2008-07-26T19:09:00.002+02:00

Did I mention I'm on vacation?

2008-07-23T15:30:00.020+02:00

Obviously, time off from work means blog slacking? I've been visiting with my family in Skåne. Seriously, I thought the internet connection would be better and that I would have all the time in the world. Ha! It's been very intense days and surfing the internet has been a bit nostalgic, like in the good old days on a 56.6 kb modem.

I've had some issues with parts of my family in the past. Actually, I still have, but it's easier these days to ignore it and be thankful for what I do have with them. It's quite special to be together this much for several days. Somehow, these people are the ones I can always be myself around, and most importantly, they are the people I care most about in the whole wide world. They will always be there, no matter what. Cousins and second cousins may seem a bit far away. But really, when we are all together like this, three generations, you realize how important family is.

It's also at times like this I miss my grandmother the most. On the other hand, it's fantastic to see that life has moved on even though she's no longer among us. We're doing good, we take care of each other, we enjoy each others company and all the kids love to get together. They fool around and play all the time. The older ones take care of the younger ones, no matter who's sister or brother it is. Just the same way as when I was a kid, growing up with my cousins.

Centre of attention, though, was of course Bumblebee. She's charming everyone and seems to be safe and snug in the arms of almost anyone. It's been such a delight to spend so much time with her.

Another center of attention, as always in my family, is good food. How can one family end up with so many good cooks and bakers? Everyone seem to have their specialty. At lunches and dinners, we all bring something to the table. Like this dessert. Yum!

WTF, I might as well turn this into a photo blog instead ;-)

Where my heart belongs

2008-07-17T23:58:00.001+02:00

Reluctant posting

2008-07-11T14:30:00.006+02:00

I know I haven't been a very active cyber shala mate this last week... Work has been sucking out most of my energy for the last couple of weeks. Since I'm so annoyed about my work situation and it seeps into every other part of my life, it feels like I haven't got many positive thoughts about anything right now. I don't want to appear as a whiner and I have few other things to write about. Therefore, very low-key in posting and commenting at this point. Sorry! Don't know whether this post will turn out on a more positive note, but hell, I'll give it a try.

Due to the Paris trip I didn't have a decent practice for over a week. My left shoulder broke down after long days and a bad bed (and no practice?) in Paris and here the shala is closed Friday through Sunday in the summertime. I did only some sun sals and a bit stretching last weekend. On Tuesday I got to see my wondrous body worker which was really great! Helped to relieve some of the pain in shoulder and between shoulder blades :) I'll see her again at yoga camp in August.

Isn't that at terrific combination? Daily practice for a week (uhm, six days) with Morning Star, in a beautiful place, fantastic nutritious food (Morning Star is a Cooking Goddess!), body worker available, and on top of that, Gemini will be there too, assisting as well as offering acupuncture. That week will be the prime of my vacation. I'm so much looking forward to it!

Anyway, this week with Mercury has been good, though, I been cautious and not doing full practice every day. We've been working a lot with opening chest (thorax?) and strengthening abs. It's funny, at my other (old?) shala, they are all against using props and modifications in order to build strength or awareness in different poses. Mercury on the other hand, who is authorized from Mysore (which they are not at my other shala), has no problems at all using different props and methods to help you open certain things in your body or build awareness. She's very caring and considerate, and at the same time she make's you work your butt off. She's now on her way to Mysore for Guruji's 93 year celebration! Hope she will have a wonderful time, even though I'll miss her. However, it's only for a few weeks and there will be a very good sub at the shala, so i'm gonna be ok. She'll be back when I come home from yoga camp.

This morning, almost asleep while doing the morning poop, i had a huge yawn and BAM! something snapped in the back of my neck. The immediate pain went away pretty quickly, but there was still an achy stiffness down between my shoulder blades. Luckily, the first thing I was going to do this morning was a visit with the chiro! She adjusted my neck and gave me a little massage, besides treating the shoulder and putting on new tape. Feels better now, but still a bit stiff. I need to move around a bit, not just sit here... Any suggestions on how to walk and read at the same time? Oups, and I need to get myself some lunch as well, I'm starving...

There are Shibas in Paris!

2008-07-05T18:50:00.025+02:00

Home again, and I'm completely worn out, mentally as well as physically. It's been a very intense week with a busy schedule at the conference. Many interesting sessions, a lot of people to talk to and make connections with (mostly Americans! got to practice my verbal English quite a bit :). My closest colleague and I now have a lot of ideas about what we'd like to focus on in our work for the coming year or so. (IF I stay that is! I AM looking for a new job, but it could take a while and I need to make the best of my time as long as I'm still there. I got some good input at the conference and my job search can definitely benefit from it as well.)

The conference was held at one of the universities in Paris. It's a really cool building. Architecturally it reminds a lot of my own workplace, but the French are definitely more daring. Lots of details painted in luminous colors and and other intriguing decorations.

Spent the rest of the time with my colleagues who are really a lot of fun to be with. We had a great time together :) I think it's a good thing to be able to have fun besides the work we do, just being ourselves and playing around.

We wandered the streets of Paris, looked at some of the typical Paris sights and were amazed by all the different kinds of shops that are to be found in the small, winding streets. We ate at local restaurants or tried out the food stands we came across. Mostly galettes, crepes and different sandwiches. In the mornings we grabbed a coffee in some bar and bought croissants and pain au chocolat at the 'boulangerie'. YUM!

Unfortunately the only Mysore class at Caroline Boulinguez' studio in 4th while I was there was at the same time as the conference reception! And my hotel room was small as shoebox. Doing practice there was completely out of the question. When getting out of bed I could almost step right into the bathroom. So, no practice in Paris...

I probably should've planned better ahead and been more focused on which sessions to go to and maybe then I would have been able to get more time to myself. Anyway, I've had a great time so it doesn't really matter. Shopping and practice were the two things I didn't really get to do and I can live with that. Did a lot of window shopping though, when we walked around the city. Can't say I had any particular things I wanted to shop just because it's in Paris. Or should I say, the things I'd want to buy were so expensive and I don't think it would've been worth it. I don't need more stuff as it is.

Instead I just enjoyed the city. I love walking around, looking at the architecture and all the details in the surroundings that differ from what I'm used to. Listen to all the sounds and the noise, and the FRENCH! I don't understand much, but I love the language, listening to people talking is awesome! Although, I'm amazed how well you get around speaking English nowadays. When I visited last, 18 years ago, if you'd ask something in English the French would just look at you like you were an oddball and then ignore you. Now people gladly spoke English or at least tried to communicate. I do like to adapt the usual phrases and try to speak a few words. I think, since I do know a little French, I could do the effort and also - it's fun :) Lots of s'ill vous plait, merci beaucoup, aujourd'hui and au revoire in other words.

We also got to take the Metro several times, which is an adventure in itself. The Paris Metro is pretty awesome with all it's different crossing lines, connected by stairs and passages all over the place, often decorated with tiles covering the arched lanes. Sometimes VERY crowded carriages, with lots of smells.

Not only were you all with me in spirit, some of you actually appeared physically! Even though this is not a lioness, I immediately thought of Annabella when we came across this proud, noble lion in a street crossing.

And Owl is alive and well at a book store near Saint Michel!

I didn't see any Shiba Inus for myself, but a guy I spoke to one evening, when a bunch of us from the conference went to a restaurant on Bd. Pasteur, almost immediately told me he had seen one, when we started talking about all the dogs in Paris. He was very excited about it and it made me feel safe and happy to know there are Shibas in Paris :)

Can I stay? Please?

2008-07-02T16:30:00.005+02:00

It's hot and today it's raining (thank God!). Had lots and lots of croissants and cafe crème :) Some brie, galettes and omeletts too. Paris is lovely, so many visual impressions, different smells (not always delightful!) and sounds that I'm not used to. So exciting!

Leaving on a jet plane

2008-06-28T22:02:00.004+02:00

This time tomorrow I'll be in Paris. Don't know if or when I'll get access to the internet once I'm here, but hopefully I'll be able to post and put up some pictures. I should get myself a garden gnome?

Miserable, huh?

2008-06-24T14:43:00.003+02:00

Argh! I have like a ton of papers to read and assess this week and I'm procrastinating, severely. Should stay off the internet completely, but may not be totally able to? These papers are a part of my work that I really hate having to deal with. It's so bad that I'm seriously considering to jump ship. It's NOT what I enjoy doing and it's not a part of what I'm either good at nor educated for...

Woke up this morning and was actually on my way out of bed and go to practice when my whole body just screamed "GO BACK TO SLEEP!". So I did... for another two hours. I'll be there tomorrow. Promise.

Shoulder is bugging me again. Need to take care of it! Last week I saw my massage therapist, or should I call her my body worker? Whao, did she work my shoulder! She is an ashtanga practitioner herself, which makes it so much easier for her to know what the problems are and what is causing them. As opposed to the bitch naprapath I saw last fall when the problems first started. She had never tried any form of yoga and the first thing she said after I told about my problem was "We DO get a LOT of YOGA related injuries now, you know" - fucking bitch... Anyway, she (my beloved masseuse, that is) gave me a few more good tips for stretching exercises and advice about practice. Upper pecs seems to be a part of the chest that is often forgotten or neglected. I can totally relate to that! When my shoulder is killing me I often also feel a kind of tension below the collar bone. I've written here before of the notion that I need to lift and open the chest and let the heart strive towards the sky, which seems to be an accurate image. Another little muscle that often cause, especially women, problems is infraspinatus. She confirmed Gabis advice that I should be working more with lats since we tend to compensate week lats in sun sals by overloading infraspinatus. So now I need to find a way to train and build those lats. I need to go to the gym? Anyway, I must see body worker again, soon. She's good :)

Well, aren't we cheerful today?

Midsummer's Day

2008-06-21T17:48:00.003+02:00

Today is Midsummer's Day and this year is a bit special since summer solstice happens to fall on this particular day. It doesn't always do so. I've said it before, this time is the most glorious time of the year. Today is the longest day of the year which on my degree of latitude means the night is only a few hours and it doesn't really get dark during this short time. This is the time we Nordic folks live for during the cold and dark months and Midsummer is the point of culmination, which you realize if you read this little quote from Wikipedia:

"Midsummer rivals Christmas as the most important holiday of the year due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed."

You can easily distinguish the pagan holiday, no? Delirious partying until broad daylight. That is what's been going on here last night.

For me, though, this is a day of mourning. As from today the days will become shorter again. Sure, it'll be yet another couple of months before it's obvious, and it isn't until mid-October that I need to start my treatment again. So why the woe? Maybe it's just the knowledge that this is where it turns? And still, there is a stroke of sadness somewhere deep down inside of me...

Flowers and Bumblebees

2008-06-18T19:05:00.005+02:00

Moonday today, and ladies hols, no practice... Tomorrow I'll see Humming Finn and I'll kick ass!

And now, for something completely different. I couldn't resist buying these lovely peonies yesterday. I thought of Anna, who once talked of peonies, and I thought of dear Eeyore, who needs lots and lots of warm thoughts and good vibes right now. So here is to you!

And once again I will torture you with pics and talk of my adorable little Bumblebee. Saw her last night and sheesh, things moves so fast! I saw her less than a week ago and there's already a bunch of new stuff in her repertoire! Her new thing is to grab stuff and put it in her mouth (see proof below). She's even found out how to put her thumb in her mouth, not the whole hand, like before. She is actually sucking her thumb, so cute!

I should post...

2008-06-16T16:24:00.002+02:00

...I know, even just the shortest post. It's just that I don't seem to be able to put down one single word in writing or put them into coherent sentences. It's not like I have nothing to write about. There have been at least ten different posts twirling in my head all weekend, and yet I couldn't get any of them out. None, nada, zilch.

At least practice has been good. Strangely enough, I've felt strong and quite bendy over the last coupe of days. Yesterday I was just a teeny tiny bit from getting my head on the floor in prasarita padottanasana A, all by myself. As if that wasn't enough, I also bound the right leg in ardha baddha padmottanasana - by myself. None of this has ever happened before without assists. My surya namaskars are coming along as well, slowly, slowly. None of my teachers has said anything out of the ordinary about them since I practiced with Gabi, which I think prove my decision to practice with Mercury for a while is a good one. Beginning next Monday, I will be going there Mondays through Thursdays. Fridays and Sundays will be self practice - if I'm not to lazy ;-)

Oh, and in two weeks I will be going to Paris on a conference. I'm a bit curious to try out a shala somewhere else, and also a bit terrified... I've found this shala not far away from where I'll be staying and they have two morning mysore classes during the time I'll be there. Anyone know anything about it or have any other shala to recommend in the vicinity?

Also, I finally got a new cast-iron pot and a frying pan. When me and XBF separated a few years ago, I lost my lovely cast-iron pot to him (and the frying pan was his in the first place). We divided our stuff and I chose a few things that aren't that easy to find and replace, so he got the pot. Even though I have missed it, things have been busy and a bit unorderly in my life since then and it's just in the last six months that I've started to cook at home again, now that I have a proper kitchen. Anyways, I've missed it more lately and needed to get a new one. On Saturday, after finishing up with the laundry, I went out to get the pan and the pot. Goddamn, am I freakin' happy to be strong nowadays! Carrying those back home made me feel invincible.

As the lucky owner of these fantastic cookware, I of course had to cook my favorite of favorites - the famous Chitta pasta sauce. Only problem was to find the bacon. THE BACON! Is that a fucking scarce commodity all of a sudden? I had to go to THREE stores to find ANY, and of course it wasn't the organic one that I usually buy. Had to settle for some poor stressed out pig from Denmark... But what could I do? Should I've fucking waited till today? I don't think so! The cookware had to be inaugurated, and it couldn't wait! Now there is pasta sauce that would last for a whole battalion in my fridge. I'll probably be sick and tired of it in the end of the week...

(Oups, seems my writers cramp disappeared :)

Touching the universe

2008-06-11T13:10:00.011+02:00

Yesterday was a remarkable day, indeed! It started out pretty gray and there was a brief shower as I left home early to meet up with my work mates and go for a day in the Stockholm archipelago.

It's become a tradition that we do something together in the beginning of summer, before everyone leaves for vacation. This "something" has in the passed included more work-related activities, such as developing our working methods or competencies. But this year, due to the turbulence that's been going on, it was decided that we'd do something with a stronger focus on being and DOING something nice together that wasn't all that connected to achieving work-related results. Sailing seemed like the thing to do! Fun, being a bit of a team-building activity and definitely an experience to remember!

The boat that was chartered was in itself a remarkable one! There are three boats of its kind in Sweden. 45 feet long, weighing 12 tons and over 120 m2 of sail, fully equipped and good space for the eleven of us to work and sit comfortably for the whole trip. Our captain did a great job in keeping an eye on things and at the same time teaching us how to do what and when. Not everyone of us had been sailing before, and the ones of us that had, had never sailed a boat like this before.

Anyways, we arrived at the marina around 9am. The weather was still kinda gray, but warm and a little windy. Met up with the captain and he ran us through the safety routines. We all got these really solid rain/wind wear to put on. Felt a bit silly, since it was pretty warm, to put them on... but man! am I happy we did! We would have been totally drenched if we hadn't. We looked like a bunch of astronauts preparing for liftoff :)

The wind wasn't too bad as we went out in the first open space of sea. As we got closer to the island our captain had chosen for the lunch intake, the clouds began to crack up and flaps of bleu skies started to show. As we anchored in a calm, windless cove, the sun came out and glittered like gems in the water.

After lunch we set out again and now the wind had turned up a few knots! This was when the real fun began :) We had about five hours of pure sailing in winds between 9 to 13 meters per second. The "astronaut wear" came in very handy, since the sea decided to give us lots of showers. Even though the wind was warm, one would probably have been quite cold if one were to be soaked in cold sea water!

Oh, and Annabella has requested pictures of ME! First of all, there aren't many, because I was the one holding the camera most of the time! And secondly, I'm sorry if I disappoint anyone, I'm not very keen on putting up pictures of my face here, since I'm writing this blog incognito (for reasons I might discuss here at some point). Nevertheless, someone actually caught me on video (by mistake ;-) and it so happens to prove I ran the show, at least for a while. LOL! Please, make sure NOT to have your speakers on loud! The only sound is the wind blowing (hard!) in the microphone, which doesn't sound very pretty on loud speakers...

Sailing, to me, is in so many ways much like yoga. It can be very physically demanding and is totally relaxing since you need to focus and be in the moment. Also, being so close to the elements really bring that touching-the-universe-experience. As you can see, I'd just have to reach out my hand and grab that cloud :)

Didn't do practice today...

2008-06-10T23:26:00.005+02:00

Instead I've been sailing all day. Magnificent and totally awesome! For a large part of the day we had a strong breeze, which corresponds to 25-31 mph or 6 on the beaufort scale. In other words, it was a pretty windy day!

Fucking hard

2008-06-08T16:46:00.004+02:00

Too lazy to get out of bed and get to the shala this morning... But I did self practice! And I didn't run away from the mat once! Alright, once... to turn of the dish washer so that I wouldn't have to listen to the finishing alarm for the rest of my practice.

It was a pretty stiff practice and I didn't do it all. Instead I stayed longer in most poses and tried hard to focus on all the details that Gabi helped me with. It's FUCKING HARD when there is not a teacher present to check that you're actually doing it right. Well, practice and all is coming. At least so I've heard :)

It's fascinating (and inspiring!) to read the observations of all the more advanced ashtangis (almost everyone seem to be more advanced than me). Nevertheless I have no desire to get more poses or even dream of moving to 2nd. I have my hands full with what I got. And that's not only the poses. It's everything surrounding the practice itself. Being disciplined about routines, getting enough sleep, eat regularly and nutritious and all that. Nice to know though, I'm not alone in those struggles!

Meme of five

2008-06-06T13:09:00.007+02:00

I was tagged by Yogamum, since I hated the movie 'Titanic'!
The rules:
1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?
Working on the job I then had had for one year, and finally starting to get the hang of it :) Living with xbf and I think we must've been like in the middle of one of all the renovation projects that was going on for years and years in the house we lived in. We had lots of problems with the contractors and spent a lot of time and energy arguing with them... I'm so glad those days are over!

What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1) Have late lunch with my family (everyone who isn't living here is visiting for the graduation yesterday and staying today since it is our national day)
2) Kiss and cuddle Bumblebee
3) Do some laundry
4) Enjoy the day
5) Can't think of anything else on to-do list :)

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Chocolate
2) Walnuts
3) Dried apricots
4) Pretzels
5) Cheese with figs marmalade, preferably gruyère, stilton, sharp cheddar, tallegio or brie

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1) Buy back my grandmothers house that we had to sell when she passed away 15 years ago
2) Take my family traveling
3) Invest so that I could stop working a normal day job and do whatever I want to
4) Create a yoga space combined light therapy room where I and the likes of me could do morning practice and get light treatment at the same time in the winters
5) Get massage at least once a week

What are five of your bad habits?
1) Procrastinating
2) Staying up too late
3) Being on the computer too much
4) Not returning phone calls and emails
5) Did I mention procrastinating?

What are five places where you have lived?
1) Storgatan
2) Skeppargatan
3) Metargatan
4) Södermannagatan
5) Fridhemsgatan
(for those of you who can't read the above words, they are names of streets where I have lived, all of them in the center of Stockholm. This girl obviously doesn't move around a lot ;-)

What are five jobs you’ve had?
1) Factotum at a fashion company
2) Shop assistant in an H&M store
3) Assisting photographer
4) Project manager
5) Educational developer

This is hard, there are so many I'd like to know more about, but these are the five people I tag:
1) Annabella
2) Alfia
3) Carl
4) Eeyore
5) Joy Suzanne
If you do the meme, please leave a comment so I can come read it! I'd love it if you want to share :)

What could be more perfect?

2008-06-06T00:31:00.008+02:00

Today was one of those days you'd think you're in the Mediterranean and not in a northern country like Sweden. My cousin's oldest daughter graduated today and family and friends gathered to celebrate the young lady. Siblings and parents, cousins and second cousins, aunts and uncles, almost everyone was there. Windows open, letting in the warm breeze, everyone in pretty summer clothes, children and dogs running and horsing around all over the place. Food, wine, laughter, the scent of flowers, presents and delicious desserts.

I went out to sit for a while on the little balcony facing the back yard, just to get to myself for a few minutes and relish the moment. Surrounded by green plants climbing up the walls, looking at the sun reflecting in the windows across the yard and listening to the sounds of people enjoying the evening together. It felt like time stopped for a couple of seconds.

Had lots of little conversations with Bumblebee. Today she's three months old. Just over the passed week she's become so smiley and cuddly and has begun making the sweetest little sounds. Her voice is quite unique, I think I'd distinguish it from a hundred babies. She's so adorable and lovely and she's my niece! I think I could eat her, that's how sweet she is.

Oh, and what makes an evening like this even more magical is the light! The sun sets at 10pm. It's now passed midnight as I'm writing this, and it's still not dark. The sky is glowing in a deep shade of blue and only a few of the brightest stars are to be seen.

Morning practice bliss

2008-06-04T16:32:00.002+02:00

Had a lovely practice with Gabi again this morning. She is a very warm and gentle teacher, and yet thorough and scrutinous. I have a couple of very good male teachers that are really amazing in their own different ways. But I must say, being taught by a female teacher who has such experience and the experience of a female body is just outstanding :)

Frustrating enough I need to re-learn the Surya Namaskaras. There are so many details that I haven't payed proper attention to for a long time (I can't get that none of my teachers have pointed this out to me?!). This is one of the good things about practicing with a new teacher, they immediately spot things that the regular ones seem to let you off the hook about, and they bring you out of your 'comfort zone'. By re-learning i mean that I have built patterns and muscle memories that need to be worn down. The only way to do that is to practice, practice, practice and hopefully work with a teacher that is constantly on your back about those details.

Alright, so one of my problems is, and has been for a while, that I don't have a 'main' teacher that sees me often enough and keep pointing these things out. In a week I practice with 2 to 4 different teachers. The one that I would gladly consider my 'main' teacher is only teaching in Stockholm one day a week. That's why I reached the decision to go to Mercury this summer and maybe even continue next fall. The reason I haven't been going there regularly is that her shala is further away from where I live and my resistance to get up even earlier than I already have to is tremendous! On the other hand, the shala is at least on my way to work, so it's not like I have to go in the wrong direction to get there. And it isn't all that far, I'm just spoiled to have 'my' shala three blocks from my house... But yah, I'm looking forward to going to Mercury!

Monday madness and food anguish

2008-06-02T13:39:00.002+02:00

Meetings, meetings and more meetings. Some planning and preparing for tomorrow's workshop and somewhere in-between I'm supposed to have lunch?

Almost every day I think to myself I should really, really start bringing a lunch box. The supply of good, varied and nutritious food around where I work is just appalling! (i.e. non-existing) Today I had to go to three different places in my search for something I don't usually have. Finally ended up at one of the usual restaurants and got a very unexciting but sufficient salad with pasta and shrimp.

I've seen this wonderful cookbook by a woman who caters really good lunch to some cafés in the city. It's too expensive to have them deliver to where I work, so if I could cook myself at home and bring to work, that would be fabulous! I'm getting the book :)

Marathon

2008-05-31T13:05:00.005+02:00

Dear friends and readers, not much news at Chitta's place this last week... Not that there hasn't been anything to write about, things have just been CRAZY at work, like it always is this time of year - a never ending foot race. I've been on this job for six years now and I KNOW this is how it's going to be, and still I'm not in charge to plan so that it isn't. It's like a quarter of my work in one year is supposed to be done in the end of May and beginning of June, something I clearly can't change...

To go on about work, I also have a bit of a situation that goes much deeper than just having tons of stuff to get done with. It's kinda messy and I'm trying to sort things out to find out for myself how to handle it. Been seeing a councilor at my company health care centre to discuss things I can't really talk about with colleagues, at least not yet... I'll probably get back on this when things are clearer to me.

Practice has ben so and so. Or I should say, practice is good WHEN it happens. I still have a really hard time changing from practicing in the evenings (which I mostly do in the winters because of my SAD that needs to be treated with light therapy in the mornings) to morning practice.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Mercery's shala to practice with Gabi Pascoli who is visiting this week and next. What a fantastic teacher she is! She immediately spotted what is the problem with my left shoulder. She says it has a forward rotation, compared to the right. She gave me lots of good pointers and things to work on that of course has to do with strengthening muscles in the back, especially latissimus dorsi and the lower trapezius. I need to activate these muscles in far more poses then I'm right now. My notion that the collar bones and the chest needs to open seemed to be correct, with the addition that it's to be done by strengthening back and core. Oh, I'll try to see her again one morning next week!

Another wonderful thing about yesterday was that I got to practice beside Mercury and across the room from Morning Star! Rock'n Roll Boy and Eve was there too, but finishing up as we started so we got to chat a bit :) It was indeed a dripping practice. Had to wipe the floor around my mat a few times and we had to open the windows and keep them open if we were not to get cooked. After practice I had to rush of to work. Nevertheless I took the time to stay for some coffee with the girls at the nearby coffee place. It was so nice to get to talk a little and getting to know a bit more of Gabi! And Morning Star is the brightest shining star in the universe!

Last night we had "girls dinner" at Grace and Che's place. Since Che wasn't up to anything and The Ed was coming, Che and Muzzy joined us too! Someone said they are her Favorite Girls ;-) Hehe, this is not the first time we are having "girls dinner" with them present! I think they blend in nicely, and if we are having too much girls talk (like about the poverty in India!) they get on the computer and do some programming or discuss the current state of the computer business. It was a very nice evening and I know that Grace really enjoyed cooking in their new kitchen. Got home pretty late though... When I walked over the bridge to get home I noticed that the temperature was still 14 degrees and it was like 1.30 in the morning!

Today is Stockholm Marathon. The city will be closed off in a lot of places, making it impossible to move around, so I'll probably just stick around the house and chill out. They seem to have rerouted the course this year, but runners will still pass twice just a few blocks from where I live and maybe I'll go watch and cheer for them at some point. It's a bit cloudy, which is probably good for the poor runners, but it's still really warm and I think we'll hit at least 25 degrees today. I'm ok with that :) we'll see if they are!

Annabella smiled...

2008-05-26T15:16:00.001+02:00

...and the sun came out again!

Sunshine

2008-05-21T18:31:00.003+02:00

Well, haven't got much to say except whining a bit about too much shit at work, my boss is loosing it (I used to think he was the best boss I ever had), the weather sucks and I haven't practiced since Sunday...

So after experiencing what could possibly have been one of the worst days in a very, very long time, I spent yesterday evening with a little someone who could bring some sunshine into my life again!

Gray Sunday

2008-05-18T13:47:00.009+02:00

This weather isn't helping at all! Cold, rainy and gray is what awaits you if you dare step outdoors. Yuck! Today's practice was truly dense and gloomy. My arm and shoulder were cumbersome and I happened to pick a spot in between a 'moaner' and a 'squirter'! Glad I did it, though. Haven't been to my own shala on a Sunday for a long time and was pleasantly surprised to discover that Toffee Hands is teaching those days now since Bird decided to stay in Mysore a few months more than planned.

I have to do some work this afternoon. NOT happy 'bout that, but it needs to be done. Bleh...

Yesterday was kinda nice though :) Did the laundry that needs to be done in the wash house (i.e. towels and sheets). Then met Grace and Che for coffee and we spent most of the afternoon just hanging out and having a nice time together. Later I went for dinner with Daddy'O and the brother of his sister's best friend and his wife. They've been on a three week trip to Russia and made a pit stop in Stockholm before going home to Sacramento. My sister and her mom came along too. This couple is quite amazing. They're in their 80's and go for such a trip, and they told us they still go skiing and do other physical activities. And they were such a sweet and delightful couple! They seemed so happy to meet some members of our family and to go for a nice meal at a local restaurant. I hope they have a safe trip home!

Gasp, I think I'll take a nap now...

Silly dream

2008-05-16T16:15:00.004+02:00

This morning before I woke up, I dreamed of Carl! In the dream he unexpectedly came to visit me. I don't recall much of the dream, but what I do remember is that I was all exited to bring him to my shala and that we would practice together. Carl obviously didn't want to come with me and instead scheduled to go to different classes than me, which (as you can imagine) disturbed me and made me pretty upset!

I'm well aware that dreams are just a symbol of the stuff going on in your life that the subconscious is dealing with. The people and events that occur in your dream are not the people they're really about. But the feelings usually are! So now I'm pondering on what or who made me feel rejected, because that's the feeling I woke up with. I guess poor Carl just happened to become the target of this feeling because of a comment he made the other day. Dreams can indeed be silly!

Good Thursday

2008-05-15T17:30:00.002+02:00

Shala was packed this morning when I came in. There were lots of familiar faces, which is always nice. Lea, Archangel (who went as I was still in sun sals, though), Rock'n Roll Boy was across from me and Strong Sparrow came right after me. Humming Finn had a little too much on his hands, but I was fine with that.

The room was perfectly tempered and humid. Although slow and a bit oompa loompa (as Annabella would call it?), the sounds of my own and the others breath created the amazing meditative ambiance that i really love. All in all, one of those days I'm happy I got to the mat, in spite of everything :)

I've spent the day working with a colleague, sitting in one of my favorite cafés. A good day - we accomplished a lot! We can get into those really great discussions that are inspiring, creative and fun! I'm so sad he will be on parental leave from July until at least February next year. Of course I'm happy for him to be able to stay home with his daughter - but how will I survive without him?

Bad body parts - Part II

2008-05-14T15:39:00.004+02:00

This shoulder of mine is killing me again. The beautifully applied tape you see in the pic is part of the treatment I'm getting from my chiropractor. It's called Kinesio Tape and can be used for many different problems, like pain, reduction of movement, joint distortions, sport injuries, arthritis, spinal problems, muscular tension and so forth.

If you know anything about anatomy, by looking at the location and form of the tape, you might come to the conclusion that the taped muscles are Supraspinatus, Deltoid and Levator scapulea. These are the ones that have been bothering me the most, but also the Rotator cuff has been a bit annoying.

The tape sticks for about 7-10 days and now we are in a stage of the treatment plan when I see the chiro every three or four weeks. The last ones I got came of on Saturday (after heavy sweating in morning practice?). This means I will be without the tape for a couple of weeks before new ones are applied again.

One thing that really seem to ease the pain is to keep the chest open. I have to constantly remind myself, especially when sitting by the computer at my desk at work. Focusing on the heart and chest, keeping the image of the heart striving towards the sky, automatically makes the muscles in the shoulders and back relax. I need a new chair, though, 'cause the one I have make me slouch. Wasn't DZM discussing work chairs a while ago? I've found one that seems very cool, Capisco, that follows your body's movements. You can turn it and sit backwards with the back of the chair against your chest, and you can raise it and stand slightly leaning on it like in a saddle.

Anyways, the shoulder have been quite ok for a month now, so I wasn't really prepared that it would start bothering me this much again. Maybe I overdid it this weekend, despite my caution? I might have to modify even more? Petri mentioned that he had a shoulder injury a few years ago. Of course he kept up his practice. But for example, he did not do Chaturanga Dandasana bending the arms, and instead going right into Urdhva Mukah Svanasana with strait arms. I think that's what I'll try and see if there is any change.

Oh, and 'summer' is over, at least for now. After a fabulous weekend, temperature dropped from 77 to 41. In the suburbs it was really cold last night and a colleague of mine said there was frost on his lawn this morning, so it must have been at least 32 there. And now it's raining. Blah.

Sunny Sunday

2008-05-11T14:25:00.001+02:00

Today is one of those days when you'd almost think it's July rather than May. The temperature is amazing, not a cloud in the sky and warm winds tickling your sleeveless arms. And the sounds, I love to listen to the sounds. Or rather the silence. Only once in a while you hear the sounds of someone doing renovation in their apartment, someone having lunch on the balcony, kids playing in the backyard or birds twittering.

This was NOT the case last night! The fabulous weather also brings out all the party animals. It was like every other neighbor in my house decided to have a party last night! My whole backyard was like a huge discotheque :-( Closing all windows and doors and using ear-plugs was the only way to get my precious sleep!

Practice was as lovely today as it was yesterday. I still lack some energy, so taking it slow and breathing was my main focus. Actually skipped a few of the last vinyasas just to keep what little energy that was still left so I could cope all the way to Navasana. I so wanted to get Petri's assists in Marichyasana, and I did! Oh, and I did Sirsasana!!! Happy, happy, happy! First time in six months and it was sooooo good :) I love that pose! Savasana was such a treat today.

After practice me and Rock’n Roll Boy went for breakfast, which turned into lunch. We walked to the Beach Pavilion and had a really good herring with mashed potatoes, butter and lingonberries. My first decent meal in days! I haven't seen Rock’n Roll Boy since he got back from Mysore and it was really nice to spend some time together. He's a sweet guy and I have been exited to hear about his trip. It means so much to hang out with ashtangi friends once in a while, I've really missed that!

Saturday Euphoria

2008-05-10T14:05:00.002+02:00

What a fantastic day this is - it's like summer is already here! And I'm sooooo grateful to Cranky and Anna for encouraging me not to drop out from this weekends workshop with Petri. Despite a slight dizziness (from not eating properly for the past days?) I had a lovely practice this morning :)))) The room was warm and cozy which brought out buckets of sweat. I was already pouring in sun sals and you could literally wring my clothes out when I finished!

I thought of Carl's post on Dynamics Versus Precision and focused on just going with the motions. Indeed that post was a good reminder for me, specially today. I used to force myself pretty hard whenever practicing with a new teacher or someone I wasn't so used to practicing with. Guess wanting to perform and need for approval is the driving force involved here? Anyway, I'm working hard to let go of all that and NOT having to perform in this kind of setting. After the past days of feeling poorly, just following my breathe wherever it was taking me really made me feel so good today :)

Magic and fairy dust!

And the story continues...

2008-05-09T17:27:00.003+02:00

Ha! My tooth problem was in fact not better at all!!! I decided to go home early from the conference to be able to see my dentist before the weekend. Turns out that was a very good decision. Even though I this morning had less pain then the past days, it still hurt when chewing and eating. From my description of the change and character of the ache, dentist decided to open the tooth she has been suspecting all along, despite my claim it FELT like the one next to it. When she could finally see the dental pulp everything was clear. No shred of life in that tooth and that was it, nothing else to do than a root-filling. Of course there is also an infection that probably turned loose after my last visit and now has spread to the jaw. No wonder I was in such pain!

So, I need to take penicillin for ten days and since the pain probably wont get any better for a few days I'm also on both ibuprofen and papacetamol. Having to take all that AND the shit for the onychomycosis (sorry Carl!) makes me feel like a walking pharmacy! I have absolutely no idea if or how taking all those drugs affects my practice. However the thought of stuffing my body with chemicals like this is really abhorrent, I'm "soft" this way - I just want all the pain and germs to disappear, fast! I hope it doesn't mean I'm putting myself in any danger since I WILL do yoga anyway??!! Tomorrow morning is mysore with Petri and I'm not going to skip it for this, unless anyone says I ABSOLUTELY should!

My biggest problem right now is that I haven't had a decent meal for three days and I'm really hungry and running out of energy. I need to make myself some soup that doesn't need lots of chewing. I'm thinking spinach soup and boiled eggs?

Anyway, besides all the drama - IT'S A GLORIOUS DAY! I don't have an outdoors thermometer, but I can tell it's at least 68 degrees and even warmer in the sun. It was just such a fantastic feeling to step out of the train station at lunch time and see the streets swarming with people. All dressed like it's already summer. Sitting and strolling all over the place, in parks, outside coffee shops and restaurants.

I LOVE this city this time of year!

Bad body parts - Part I

2008-05-07T09:05:00.002+02:00

For the first time in my life I'm experiencing a toothache, a severe toothache. Started the night before yesterday, out of nowhere came this thumping pain in the upper left jaw.

What is wrong with my left side anyway???! Seems everything bad that have afflicted my body lately happens in my left side?

Anyway, the horrible pain kept me awake almost all night. Think I had like three hours of sleep before I got up and called my dentist. I got an emergency appointment a few hours later.

For the last couple of years I've had some tingles on and off in that area, but my dentist has never found anything suspicious or wrong on my yearly check-ups. On the contrary, she always praise me for my impeccable dental hygiene! She didn't find anything yesterday either... So this is most peculiar, why am I having these symptoms?

She removed the filling in one of the teeth that MIGHT be the problem and put in a temporary one. We'll have to wait a few days to see if things get better or not. I'm on anodyne right now so it isn't really that bad at the moment. What worries me is that I'm on my way to a conference in another part of the country and wont be back until Friday evening. IF this gets worse before I get back, maybe I'll have to see another dentist there? I hate going to the dentist and really only trust my own, so that fucking scares me!

And I'm scared to eat too! It starts hurting again when I do, not as bad as before, but still. So for now, I just drink a lot and only eat very soft things, like bananas. I'm hungry...

It´s True

2008-05-04T23:27:00.004+02:00

Now I'm almost crying, again! Just saw the last episode of this AMAZING documentary about a class of ninth graders in one of the weakest schools in Sweden. They did a project in order to improve and become one of the three best classes in the country. Part of the project was to make a television documentary about the journey. This song was the track for the finishing scenes and it just made me ready to cry - tears of happiness. Do I need to say how it ended?

Sweet Sunday

2008-05-04T18:04:00.001+02:00

What a beautiful day! Almost eight hours of sleep, lovely temperature, birds twittering and morning practice at Morning Stars shala :) Must be that it's getting warmer outside - I worked up a good sweat today, which of course helped a lot! Didn't feel all that stiffness and I practiced all the way up to navasana. Working a lot with relaxing shoulders and neck. I get the feeling that I need to re-learn a lot of very basic movements in order to really lower my shoulders and not put stress on the neck. Morning Star argues that it's not a question of re-learning, but rather to open joints and muscles in a body that has been hooky and contracted for half a lifetime. Oh, I guess she's right! But still, yoga IS a constant learning process. The body changes and the premises are different from one day to another. The moment I think I know something about something I have to re-conceptualize! Need to remind myself that is what it's all about.

I am...

2008-05-03T11:28:00.002+02:00

I am: myself
I think: too much
I know: things will eventually turn out for the best
I want: to be happy
I have: so much to be thankful for
I wish: there were less work days of the week
I hate: when I procrastinate
I miss: my grandmother
I fear: not having love in my life
I feel: sad that my job is not as fulfilling as it used to be
I hear: the twitter of birds
I smell: l'eau d'issey
I crave: bacon and chocolate (not at the same time though!)
I search: for the people and experiences that make me feel good
I wonder: what will happen next
I regret: not much
I love: watching the stars
I ache: in my left shoulder
I care: for the people around me
I always: floss
I am not: jealous
I believe: there is always another side to things
I dance: to drum'n bass/jungle
I sing: to my niece
I cry: either of happiness or out of frustration and powerlessness
I don’t always: do the things I should
I fight: for what I believe in
I write: to improve
I win: when I'm not competing
I lose: if I play the lottery
I never: get to sleep early enough
I confuse: the ones who wants to categorize people
I listen: as well as I speak
I can usually be found: at work
I am scared: to fail
I need: to get things done
I am happy about: my niece

Did it!

2008-04-30T16:15:00.005+02:00

Yup, I paid up! Means I'm going to be at the workshop. After Monday morning's practice I gathered - it's just to do it! My shala is closed Thursday until Monday because of tomorrow's holiday, but Morning Star will teach mysore at Mercury's shala on Friday and at her own on Sunday. Since I practiced this morning (yay again!) it's possible to make this a four-day week, which I think is pretty good considering all things?

Today's practice was stiff as hell! But felt good all the same. Still being cautious and not doing all of my practice - I'll ad asanas back in one bit at the time. That sweet feeling afterwards is slowly developing :) I'll get there.

Tonight is Walpurgis Night. Don't think I'll see any fires though... I usually enjoy this evening of welcoming the spring, listening to the singing and watching the fire while the sun slowly sets. But tonight, instead I'm going to see my niece!

Good girl

2008-04-28T13:07:00.000+02:00

Yay! Went to MORNING practice today and I'm feeling so good about myself! A bit tired, though, but GOOD nevertheless :)

Dilemma

2008-04-27T00:13:00.001+02:00

I said it before, I've enrolled for a weekend workshop with Petri Räisänen. The workshop is in two weeks and I realized just today that I haven't payed for it yet. There is a waiting list and payment is to be made on Wednesday at the latest if one is to be certain to take part.

Now the thing is, I haven't had a consistent practice for almost two months (is it even more?) and at the moment I have a pretty bad shoulder and a bad foot. When I do get to practice I've been modifying a few poses due to that and generally I've been practicing cautiously, stopping either after standing poses or somewhere around janu sirsasana.

That said, I'm starting to think I might not do the workshop at this point? I can only take part two out of three days because I'm away at a conference the first day. That means it would cost me $135 for two mysore classes, which I think is rather a lot. For almost the same amount I could get a punch-ticket to practice ten times with Mercury which I know will definitely do my practice good!

Don't get me wrong, Petri is a fantastic teacher and I have been looking forward to this. But now it dawns on me, maybe I wont really benefit from his teaching at the state I'm in? It's not like I wont get more chances to practice with him, he comes here at least twice a year and he has retreats in both Sweden and Finland in the summer that I've been thinking of maybe going on.

Hm, maybe I've already made up my mind?

Crocus for Cranky

2008-04-26T20:26:00.003+02:00

Saw these the other week and they made me think of Cranky. So here's to you :)

And this is how the trees look in my part of the world at the moment! It's wonderful to see everything starting over. To me this is the best time of year. I wish it'd never end! (ok, I know I would probably get tiered of it eventually... but one can always wish, right?)

Talk about the weather

2008-04-24T19:24:00.006+02:00

So, I spent Sunday afternoon with The Ed. We went to an exhibition downtown and then just walked around, got ice-cream and sat by the water talking. We passed through Kungsträdgården (Kings Garden) and saw the magnificent Japanese cherry blossom that I always seem to miss every year. But now we caught them, right on time!

The week uptil now has been the most fabulous week this spring - if we're talking about the weather! The sun is shining in the perfectly coeline blue sky and temperature raising a little more every day. Alas, I've had a shitload to do at work (and I thought things were looking up...?), so I can't really say I've had the time to be outside to enjoy it. Although it does make me happy! Somehow, things are a tiny bit easier to bear when the sun shines :)

What can I say...?

2008-04-20T20:29:00.005+02:00

...more then that my sister-in-law is a lousy photographer? Joke aside, I'm happy she had the presence to take this picture, blurry or not! It was a magic moment I tell ya' :)

12 PM WTF??!!!

2008-04-18T19:12:00.003+02:00

Could someone PLEAZE explain to me the logic in 12 PM being NOON????? I'm fully aware that Americans use the weirdest measurements for almost everything: length, weight, cubic measure, temperature, you name it! (I've never been able to figure out how tall I am using foot/inch - very illogical!) But this? Since when does counting START with 12 and then proceed to 1??? I mean, the logic thing would be that 9, 10 and 11 AM is followed by 12 AM, but no! This is were the peculiar Americans decide that after 11 AM comes 12 PM which comes BEFORE 1 PM! This drives me crazy!

On another note, today has been a gorgeous day, sunny and almost warm (ok, not WARM, but at least not COLD! :) It feels like spring is finally for real, although snow in April and even beginning of May is quite possible...

Yesterday I went to evening practice with Humming Finn. He is such an excellent teacher! Because I haven't practiced since last week I took things very slow (have you heard this before? ;-). For some strange reason (too much for lunch?) I had great difficulty holding bandhas properly. Tried hard though, and focusing on breath. I didn't even have to tell Humming Finn to be gentle with me, he spotted my condition right away and gave me very good but gentle assists in prasarita padottanasana, UHP and janu sirsasana A. After that i stopped and did finishing. Finally, in padmasana, he sat behind me, putting his feet on my shoulder-blades and kind of massaging my shoulders and traps to relax and open chest. All of the time following my every breath. He is truly amazing :) I wish he'd be teaching more then one or two days a week... Oh well, I'm happy he DOES teach those days at my shala!

The state of things

2008-04-16T18:48:00.005+02:00

These last couple of weeks haven't been a joy, I tell ya! Too much to do at work, a REALLY awkward situation has occurred in my workplace, involving and affecting everyone, a cold that has come and gone, and come again and my bad shoulder (that seemed to be getting better) has been bugging me again. And all of this, of course, affecting my practice. Funny how things happen... I was just about to 'gear up' after a loooong and painful winter and then everything just had to be put on hold. Though sad about it because I miss a consistent practice, I'm not really worried or upset about it. I know that as soon as I'm feeling better it's there waiting for me.

Anyway, today I was reminded about the workshop with Petri that I'm going to - and it's in FOUR WEEKS! The first thing that came to my mind was "arghh, I need to get in shape till then!" Huh, silly me! Why would I have to do that?! It's just practice and whatever "shape" I am in then is where I am then, don't sweat it! So, I'm really looking forward to the workshop! Petri is a lovely teacher and there is a marvelous ambiance in the room when he teaches :)

Oh, and Mind Bending posted the whole clip of when Eddie Izzard does the famous 'Death Star canteen'. I watched it this morning, in my office while drinking my coffee, and I laughed out laud, almost choking on my coffee! I've often wondered how he comes up with these situations. He must be insane...

Inspiration

2008-04-06T23:15:00.001+02:00

Practice with Morning Star today was sweet! Due to VERY irregular, almost nonexistent, practice for more then two weeks I only focused on breath and bandha and tried not to pressure myself at all. Stayed for extra breaths in most asanas and only did up to janu sirsasana A. Got some really nice adjustments from Morning Star and she helped me find new ways to work with my bad left arm and shoulder. We did John Scotts preps for backbends that I did with Mercury a few weeks ago which was awesome! Who knows, even I might be able to do back-drops one day ;-) After practice we took a nice stroll and then caught a bus back to town. Oh, I just love spending time with her! She is such an inspiring and encouraging person.

This sucks!

2008-03-29T21:59:00.003+01:00

Just realized I haven't had a decent practice since I started writing this blog :-( I've been feeling too crappy ever since my last attempt... Headache, stuffed nose and this damn cough keeping me awake at night. It's been more than a week now. I was starting to think a spell wouldn't be enough to get rid of this bug AND I've had total overload at work all week. I hate it when I'm not well and have too much at work to be able to relax and get well. All the same, feeling a little better today and I'll give practice a shot again tomorrow.

Got an e-mail from 'my' teacher Morning Star the other day telling me she's back. She went to Goa for a couple of weeks and I didn't know when I went to practice with her two weeks ago. She opened her own shala in the southern suburbs recently and it's a bit too far away for me to be going there regularly, so I don't see her as much as I used to. I'll go again tomorrow. I MISS HER SO MUCH!!!

Time to hit the sack. We switch to daylight saving tonight and I'll try to compensate for the hour we're loosing. Guess my diurnal rhythm will get screwed up for a week or so. I'm soooo fucking sensitive to these changes.

Cold

2008-03-26T14:44:00.007+01:00

Believe it or not, there was a drop in the temperature during Easter and it has stayed below zero degrees (celsius of course ;-). It's also been snowing on and of for several days, and for the fist time this winter it's actually still some laying on the ground! I knew it would, eventually... it always does.

Went to practice last night after work. Didn't feel very well on my way to the shala, but like so many times before I knew that that would all go away once a hit the mat. Started of with the sun salutations and after the first five A:s I just remembered that yoga is supposed to feel good! This didn't... I even felt worse then before which has NEVER happened to me. Thought my head was going to explode! Did a few more and then decided, for the first time ever, to call it off. This is a whole new experience! I've never chickened out right after sun sals and I still feel a bit guilty about it. On the other hand I'm kinda pleased with myself for listening to my body :)

This effing cold bugs me though. It's the second one I catch in a month's time and I'm sick of it!!!! Can someone please put a spell on me and make this go away? TIA.

Meme-me

2008-03-25T14:13:00.009+01:00

This meme (is it really what would be considered a meme???) has been circulating in the community for the last week or so, but I saw it at Beautiful Anna’s place first so I’ll respond to her :)

I just noticed that Carl invented his very own version of this kind of game and I must say it’s hilarious! But since he claims it as HIS and for no one else to use without his approbation in writing, I’ll just stick to this one.

So here it goes:

1. What is your occupation? Educational developer/consultant (uh, what IS that anyway??)

2. What color are your socks right now? Black

3. What are you listening to right now? A radio show

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Scrambled eggs

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Never tried an automatic!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother

8. What’s your favorite yoga pose? Sirsasana (which I can’t do right now due to problems in my shoulders and the back of my neck and)

9. How old are you today? 40

10. Favorite drink? Sparkling water

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? I don’t watch sports…

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what color? In my younger days my hair dresser experimented quite a bit with my hair, mostly brighter red, purple and once she even managed to dye it blond (or rather yellow…) after that she turned it pink in an attempt to dye it back to red.

13. Pets? Not anymore

14. Favorite cake? Anything with lots of chocolate in it!

15. Last movie you saw? No country for old men

16. Favorite day of the year? My birthday :)

17. What do you do to vent anger? If possible, talk (or shout) it out with the object in question

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? Paper dolls (or rather the paper, felt pens and scissors I used for making them!)

19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Spring (hello light, welcome life!)

20. Hugs or kisses? First hugs, then kisses

21. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry

22. Do you want your friends to respond? That would be nice :)

23. Who is most likely to respond? Probably no one (since not very many will read this…)

24. Who is least likely to respond? Well, IF he reads this, I don’t believe Carl would respond because he jests this whole thing ;-)

25. Living arrangements? Apartment in the centre of Stockholm

26. When was the last time you cried? March 6, when I learned that my nice had been born!

27. What is on the floor of your closet? The vacuum cleaner and the laundry basket

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? H, since 1984

30. Favorite smell? Tie between honeysuckle and lilac

31. What/who inspires you? My friend Vitamin C

32. What are you afraid of? To not be loved

33. Hamburgers? It happens, but very rarely

34. Favorite car? I don’t like cars…

36. Number of keys on your key ring? Seven: two for my apartment, one for the front door, one for the attic, two for work and one for my laptop

37. How many years at your current job? Six years on April 1

38. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

39. How many states have you lived in? One

40. What’s your dream job? Usability architect

Clean

2008-03-24T21:22:00.006+01:00

Easter Monday is a holiday in Sweden, so no work today! Although it’s been a looooong weekend, I’ve been putting of cleaning the house every day. Today I finally got around to do it. Especially the bathroom needed a good scrubbing. Look how nice it looks now :)

Over at the Squirrel Cage Laksmi has put up pictures of the beautiful curtain she finished for their bathroom. How very nice to have a WINDOW in your bathroom! I’ve always wished I had that. Hard to come by when you live in an apartment in the city, though… I created a fake window in my bathroom using these gorgeous, green glass mosaic tiles. I just LOVE glass mosaic!!! All in all I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out, the bathroom that is. Went through some bad shit with the contractors I hired to do the job, but that’s another story!

No practice today. Shala was closed due to the holiday and I was just too lazy to do some home practice. And I still have a bad cough and clogged sinus from the cold I caught last week. Neti just don’t seem to help this one… Anyway, tomorrow I’ll practice. I will.

New kid(s) on the block

2008-03-23T22:19:00.015+01:00

The other day Driste posted something that reminded me of why blogs (and all kinds of virtual communication over the internet) fascinates me so much. Almost 15 years ago, when the www started to evolve and people around me was talking about how they met other people over the internet, I was instigated to explore this world more deeply – WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE COMMUNICATE VIA THE INTERNET????

In those days there was only text (and maybe some pictures), no video or sound. So how could people get close without being able to see face expressions, body language or hear the tone of each other’s voices? Obviously, all over the world people are connecting and building deep relations and they have never even met! Ok, this is no news. I mean, don’t we all know SOMEONE who met their partner or developed a deep friendship with someone on the other side of the world (or at least not in their own physical surroundings) with internet as the ‘helping hand’?

Now, even though interaction on the internet in many different forms have played a huge part in my life for the last 15 years, the blogging culture didn’t really appeal to me… I guess, to me, blogging appeared to be more of a kind of one-way communication and it didn’t interest me. And since I never felt I had anything to tell a faceless audience, I didn’t feel the need to write a blog (or publish a website) about myself.

…not until I discovered that the other big part of my life, ashtanga yoga, connects so many people in the blogosphere! For the last couple of months I’ve learned a bunch about yoga (and some other stuff ;-) from others personal envisagements, their success and their shortcomings. I feel for the people I read about and the fellowship and the bonds that are tied move me.

Not so long ago (with a little help from Princess Laksmi :-) I took a giant leap and started commenting on a few of the blogs I read. It has increased, and I’m beginning to think that maybe, MAYBE, I have something to contribute? At least, I feel that I should give these magnificent people the possibility to get to know me as well. Am I to take part of this community I need to put myself out there too! It’s only fair… (ok, I have a few more reasons for blogging, but I’ll keep those for another post!)

So Chitta, hold your breath and – push ‘Publish Post’!

Oh, and the picture portraits my niece, Bumblebee, who was born almost three weeks ago. She is only a couple of days old in this picture but isn’t she an angel?! As you can imagine, I’m very proud of my brother and I will be the best auntie ever :-)