Leaving on a jet plane

This time tomorrow I'll be in Paris. Don't know if or when I'll get access to the internet once I'm here, but hopefully I'll be able to post and put up some pictures. I should get myself a garden gnome?

Miserable, huh?

Argh! I have like a ton of papers to read and assess this week and I'm procrastinating, severely. Should stay off the internet completely, but may not be totally able to? These papers are a part of my work that I really hate having to deal with. It's so bad that I'm seriously considering to jump ship. It's NOT what I enjoy doing and it's not a part of what I'm either good at nor educated for...

Woke up this morning and was actually on my way out of bed and go to practice when my whole body just screamed "GO BACK TO SLEEP!". So I did... for another two hours. I'll be there tomorrow. Promise.

Shoulder is bugging me again. Need to take care of it! Last week I saw my massage therapist, or should I call her my body worker? Whao, did she work my shoulder! She is an ashtanga practitioner herself, which makes it so much easier for her to know what the problems are and what is causing them. As opposed to the bitch naprapath I saw last fall when the problems first started. She had never tried any form of yoga and the first thing she said after I told about my problem was "We DO get a LOT of YOGA related injuries now, you know" - fucking bitch... Anyway, she (my beloved masseuse, that is) gave me a few more good tips for stretching exercises and advice about practice. Upper pecs seems to be a part of the chest that is often forgotten or neglected. I can totally relate to that! When my shoulder is killing me I often also feel a kind of tension below the collar bone. I've written here before of the notion that I need to lift and open the chest and let the heart strive towards the sky, which seems to be an accurate image. Another little muscle that often cause, especially women, problems is infraspinatus. She confirmed Gabis advice that I should be working more with lats since we tend to compensate week lats in sun sals by overloading infraspinatus. So now I need to find a way to train and build those lats. I need to go to the gym? Anyway, I must see body worker again, soon. She's good :)

Well, aren't we cheerful today?

Midsummer's Day

Today is Midsummer's Day and this year is a bit special since summer solstice happens to fall on this particular day. It doesn't always do so. I've said it before, this time is the most glorious time of the year. Today is the longest day of the year which on my degree of latitude means the night is only a few hours and it doesn't really get dark during this short time. This is the time we Nordic folks live for during the cold and dark months and Midsummer is the point of culmination, which you realize if you read this little quote from Wikipedia:

"Midsummer rivals Christmas as the most important holiday of the year due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed."

You can easily distinguish the pagan holiday, no? Delirious partying until broad daylight. That is what's been going on here last night.

For me, though, this is a day of mourning. As from today the days will become shorter again. Sure, it'll be yet another couple of months before it's obvious, and it isn't until mid-October that I need to start my treatment again. So why the woe? Maybe it's just the knowledge that this is where it turns? And still, there is a stroke of sadness somewhere deep down inside of me...

Flowers and Bumblebees

Moonday today, and ladies hols, no practice... Tomorrow I'll see Humming Finn and I'll kick ass!

And now, for something completely different. I couldn't resist buying these lovely peonies yesterday. I thought of Anna, who once talked of peonies, and I thought of dear Eeyore, who needs lots and lots of warm thoughts and good vibes right now. So here is to you!

And once again I will torture you with pics and talk of my adorable little Bumblebee. Saw her last night and sheesh, things moves so fast! I saw her less than a week ago and there's already a bunch of new stuff in her repertoire! Her new thing is to grab stuff and put it in her mouth (see proof below). She's even found out how to put her thumb in her mouth, not the whole hand, like before. She is actually sucking her thumb, so cute!

I should post...

...I know, even just the shortest post. It's just that I don't seem to be able to put down one single word in writing or put them into coherent sentences. It's not like I have nothing to write about. There have been at least ten different posts twirling in my head all weekend, and yet I couldn't get any of them out. None, nada, zilch.

At least practice has been good. Strangely enough, I've felt strong and quite bendy over the last coupe of days. Yesterday I was just a teeny tiny bit from getting my head on the floor in prasarita padottanasana A, all by myself. As if that wasn't enough, I also bound the right leg in ardha baddha padmottanasana - by myself. None of this has ever happened before without assists. My surya namaskars are coming along as well, slowly, slowly. None of my teachers has said anything out of the ordinary about them since I practiced with Gabi, which I think prove my decision to practice with Mercury for a while is a good one. Beginning next Monday, I will be going there Mondays through Thursdays. Fridays and Sundays will be self practice - if I'm not to lazy ;-)

Oh, and in two weeks I will be going to Paris on a conference. I'm a bit curious to try out a shala somewhere else, and also a bit terrified... I've found this shala not far away from where I'll be staying and they have two morning mysore classes during the time I'll be there. Anyone know anything about it or have any other shala to recommend in the vicinity?

Also, I finally got a new cast-iron pot and a frying pan. When me and XBF separated a few years ago, I lost my lovely cast-iron pot to him (and the frying pan was his in the first place). We divided our stuff and I chose a few things that aren't that easy to find and replace, so he got the pot. Even though I have missed it, things have been busy and a bit unorderly in my life since then and it's just in the last six months that I've started to cook at home again, now that I have a proper kitchen. Anyways, I've missed it more lately and needed to get a new one. On Saturday, after finishing up with the laundry, I went out to get the pan and the pot. Goddamn, am I freakin' happy to be strong nowadays! Carrying those back home made me feel invincible.

As the lucky owner of these fantastic cookware, I of course had to cook my favorite of favorites - the famous Chitta pasta sauce. Only problem was to find the bacon. THE BACON! Is that a fucking scarce commodity all of a sudden? I had to go to THREE stores to find ANY, and of course it wasn't the organic one that I usually buy. Had to settle for some poor stressed out pig from Denmark... But what could I do? Should I've fucking waited till today? I don't think so! The cookware had to be inaugurated, and it couldn't wait! Now there is pasta sauce that would last for a whole battalion in my fridge. I'll probably be sick and tired of it in the end of the week...

(Oups, seems my writers cramp disappeared :)

Touching the universe

Yesterday was a remarkable day, indeed! It started out pretty gray and there was a brief shower as I left home early to meet up with my work mates and go for a day in the Stockholm archipelago.



It's become a tradition that we do something together in the beginning of summer, before everyone leaves for vacation. This "something" has in the passed included more work-related activities, such as developing our working methods or competencies. But this year, due to the turbulence that's been going on, it was decided that we'd do something with a stronger focus on being and DOING something nice together that wasn't all that connected to achieving work-related results. Sailing seemed like the thing to do! Fun, being a bit of a team-building activity and definitely an experience to remember!



The boat that was chartered was in itself a remarkable one! There are three boats of its kind in Sweden. 45 feet long, weighing 12 tons and over 120 m2 of sail, fully equipped and good space for the eleven of us to work and sit comfortably for the whole trip. Our captain did a great job in keeping an eye on things and at the same time teaching us how to do what and when. Not everyone of us had been sailing before, and the ones of us that had, had never sailed a boat like this before.



Anyways, we arrived at the marina around 9am. The weather was still kinda gray, but warm and a little windy. Met up with the captain and he ran us through the safety routines. We all got these really solid rain/wind wear to put on. Felt a bit silly, since it was pretty warm, to put them on... but man! am I happy we did! We would have been totally drenched if we hadn't. We looked like a bunch of astronauts preparing for liftoff :)

The wind wasn't too bad as we went out in the first open space of sea. As we got closer to the island our captain had chosen for the lunch intake, the clouds began to crack up and flaps of bleu skies started to show. As we anchored in a calm, windless cove, the sun came out and glittered like gems in the water.


After lunch we set out again and now the wind had turned up a few knots! This was when the real fun began :) We had about five hours of pure sailing in winds between 9 to 13 meters per second. The "astronaut wear" came in very handy, since the sea decided to give us lots of showers. Even though the wind was warm, one would probably have been quite cold if one were to be soaked in cold sea water!

Oh, and Annabella has requested pictures of ME! First of all, there aren't many, because I was the one holding the camera most of the time! And secondly, I'm sorry if I disappoint anyone, I'm not very keen on putting up pictures of my face here, since I'm writing this blog incognito (for reasons I might discuss here at some point). Nevertheless, someone actually caught me on video (by mistake ;-) and it so happens to prove I ran the show, at least for a while. LOL! Please, make sure NOT to have your speakers on loud! The only sound is the wind blowing (hard!) in the microphone, which doesn't sound very pretty on loud speakers...



Sailing, to me, is in so many ways much like yoga. It can be very physically demanding and is totally relaxing since you need to focus and be in the moment. Also, being so close to the elements really bring that touching-the-universe-experience. As you can see, I'd just have to reach out my hand and grab that cloud :)

Didn't do practice today...

Instead I've been sailing all day. Magnificent and totally awesome! For a large part of the day we had a strong breeze, which corresponds to 25-31 mph or 6 on the beaufort scale. In other words, it was a pretty windy day!

Fucking hard

Too lazy to get out of bed and get to the shala this morning... But I did self practice! And I didn't run away from the mat once! Alright, once... to turn of the dish washer so that I wouldn't have to listen to the finishing alarm for the rest of my practice.

It was a pretty stiff practice and I didn't do it all. Instead I stayed longer in most poses and tried hard to focus on all the details that Gabi helped me with. It's FUCKING HARD when there is not a teacher present to check that you're actually doing it right. Well, practice and all is coming. At least so I've heard :)

It's fascinating (and inspiring!) to read the observations of all the more advanced ashtangis (almost everyone seem to be more advanced than me). Nevertheless I have no desire to get more poses or even dream of moving to 2nd. I have my hands full with what I got. And that's not only the poses. It's everything surrounding the practice itself. Being disciplined about routines, getting enough sleep, eat regularly and nutritious and all that. Nice to know though, I'm not alone in those struggles!

Meme of five

I was tagged by Yogamum, since I hated the movie 'Titanic'!
The rules:
1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?
Working on the job I then had had for one year, and finally starting to get the hang of it :) Living with xbf and I think we must've been like in the middle of one of all the renovation projects that was going on for years and years in the house we lived in. We had lots of problems with the contractors and spent a lot of time and energy arguing with them... I'm so glad those days are over!

What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1) Have late lunch with my family (everyone who isn't living here is visiting for the graduation yesterday and staying today since it is our national day)
2) Kiss and cuddle Bumblebee
3) Do some laundry
4) Enjoy the day
5) Can't think of anything else on to-do list :)

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Chocolate
2) Walnuts
3) Dried apricots
4) Pretzels
5) Cheese with figs marmalade, preferably gruyère, stilton, sharp cheddar, tallegio or brie

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1) Buy back my grandmothers house that we had to sell when she passed away 15 years ago
2) Take my family traveling
3) Invest so that I could stop working a normal day job and do whatever I want to
4) Create a yoga space combined light therapy room where I and the likes of me could do morning practice and get light treatment at the same time in the winters
5) Get massage at least once a week

What are five of your bad habits?
1) Procrastinating
2) Staying up too late
3) Being on the computer too much
4) Not returning phone calls and emails
5) Did I mention procrastinating?

What are five places where you have lived?
1) Storgatan
2) Skeppargatan
3) Metargatan
4) Södermannagatan
5) Fridhemsgatan
(for those of you who can't read the above words, they are names of streets where I have lived, all of them in the center of Stockholm. This girl obviously doesn't move around a lot ;-)

What are five jobs you’ve had?
1) Factotum at a fashion company
2) Shop assistant in an H&M store
3) Assisting photographer
4) Project manager
5) Educational developer


This is hard, there are so many I'd like to know more about, but these are the five people I tag:
1) Annabella
2) Alfia
3) Carl
4) Eeyore
5) Joy Suzanne
If you do the meme, please leave a comment so I can come read it! I'd love it if you want to share :)

What could be more perfect?

Today was one of those days you'd think you're in the Mediterranean and not in a northern country like Sweden. My cousin's oldest daughter graduated today and family and friends gathered to celebrate the young lady. Siblings and parents, cousins and second cousins, aunts and uncles, almost everyone was there. Windows open, letting in the warm breeze, everyone in pretty summer clothes, children and dogs running and horsing around all over the place. Food, wine, laughter, the scent of flowers, presents and delicious desserts.

I went out to sit for a while on the little balcony facing the back yard, just to get to myself for a few minutes and relish the moment. Surrounded by green plants climbing up the walls, looking at the sun reflecting in the windows across the yard and listening to the sounds of people enjoying the evening together. It felt like time stopped for a couple of seconds.

Had lots of little conversations with Bumblebee. Today she's three months old. Just over the passed week she's become so smiley and cuddly and has begun making the sweetest little sounds. Her voice is quite unique, I think I'd distinguish it from a hundred babies. She's so adorable and lovely and she's my niece! I think I could eat her, that's how sweet she is.

Oh, and what makes an evening like this even more magical is the light! The sun sets at 10pm. It's now passed midnight as I'm writing this, and it's still not dark. The sky is glowing in a deep shade of blue and only a few of the brightest stars are to be seen.

Morning practice bliss

Had a lovely practice with Gabi again this morning. She is a very warm and gentle teacher, and yet thorough and scrutinous. I have a couple of very good male teachers that are really amazing in their own different ways. But I must say, being taught by a female teacher who has such experience and the experience of a female body is just outstanding :)

Frustrating enough I need to re-learn the Surya Namaskaras. There are so many details that I haven't payed proper attention to for a long time (I can't get that none of my teachers have pointed this out to me?!). This is one of the good things about practicing with a new teacher, they immediately spot things that the regular ones seem to let you off the hook about, and they bring you out of your 'comfort zone'. By re-learning i mean that I have built patterns and muscle memories that need to be worn down. The only way to do that is to practice, practice, practice and hopefully work with a teacher that is constantly on your back about those details.

Alright, so one of my problems is, and has been for a while, that I don't have a 'main' teacher that sees me often enough and keep pointing these things out. In a week I practice with 2 to 4 different teachers. The one that I would gladly consider my 'main' teacher is only teaching in Stockholm one day a week. That's why I reached the decision to go to Mercury this summer and maybe even continue next fall. The reason I haven't been going there regularly is that her shala is further away from where I live and my resistance to get up even earlier than I already have to is tremendous! On the other hand, the shala is at least on my way to work, so it's not like I have to go in the wrong direction to get there. And it isn't all that far, I'm just spoiled to have 'my' shala three blocks from my house... But yah, I'm looking forward to going to Mercury!

Monday madness and food anguish

Meetings, meetings and more meetings. Some planning and preparing for tomorrow's workshop and somewhere in-between I'm supposed to have lunch?


Almost every day I think to myself I should really, really start bringing a lunch box. The supply of good, varied and nutritious food around where I work is just appalling! (i.e. non-existing) Today I had to go to three different places in my search for something I don't usually have. Finally ended up at one of the usual restaurants and got a very unexciting but sufficient salad with pasta and shrimp.

I've seen this wonderful cookbook by a woman who caters really good lunch to some cafés in the city. It's too expensive to have them deliver to where I work, so if I could cook myself at home and bring to work, that would be fabulous! I'm getting the book :)

Marathon

Dear friends and readers, not much news at Chitta's place this last week... Not that there hasn't been anything to write about, things have just been CRAZY at work, like it always is this time of year - a never ending foot race. I've been on this job for six years now and I KNOW this is how it's going to be, and still I'm not in charge to plan so that it isn't. It's like a quarter of my work in one year is supposed to be done in the end of May and beginning of June, something I clearly can't change...

To go on about work, I also have a bit of a situation that goes much deeper than just having tons of stuff to get done with. It's kinda messy and I'm trying to sort things out to find out for myself how to handle it. Been seeing a councilor at my company health care centre to discuss things I can't really talk about with colleagues, at least not yet... I'll probably get back on this when things are clearer to me.

Practice has ben so and so. Or I should say, practice is good WHEN it happens. I still have a really hard time changing from practicing in the evenings (which I mostly do in the winters because of my SAD that needs to be treated with light therapy in the mornings) to morning practice.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Mercery's shala to practice with Gabi Pascoli who is visiting this week and next. What a fantastic teacher she is! She immediately spotted what is the problem with my left shoulder. She says it has a forward rotation, compared to the right. She gave me lots of good pointers and things to work on that of course has to do with strengthening muscles in the back, especially latissimus dorsi and the lower trapezius. I need to activate these muscles in far more poses then I'm right now. My notion that the collar bones and the chest needs to open seemed to be correct, with the addition that it's to be done by strengthening back and core. Oh, I'll try to see her again one morning next week!

Another wonderful thing about yesterday was that I got to practice beside Mercury and across the room from Morning Star! Rock'n Roll Boy and Eve was there too, but finishing up as we started so we got to chat a bit :) It was indeed a dripping practice. Had to wipe the floor around my mat a few times and we had to open the windows and keep them open if we were not to get cooked. After practice I had to rush of to work. Nevertheless I took the time to stay for some coffee with the girls at the nearby coffee place. It was so nice to get to talk a little and getting to know a bit more of Gabi! And Morning Star is the brightest shining star in the universe!


Last night we had "girls dinner" at Grace and Che's place. Since Che wasn't up to anything and The Ed was coming, Che and Muzzy joined us too! Someone said they are her Favorite Girls ;-) Hehe, this is not the first time we are having "girls dinner" with them present! I think they blend in nicely, and if we are having too much girls talk (like about the poverty in India!) they get on the computer and do some programming or discuss the current state of the computer business. It was a very nice evening and I know that Grace really enjoyed cooking in their new kitchen. Got home pretty late though... When I walked over the bridge to get home I noticed that the temperature was still 14 degrees and it was like 1.30 in the morning!

Today is Stockholm Marathon. The city will be closed off in a lot of places, making it impossible to move around, so I'll probably just stick around the house and chill out. They seem to have rerouted the course this year, but runners will still pass twice just a few blocks from where I live and maybe I'll go watch and cheer for them at some point. It's a bit cloudy, which is probably good for the poor runners, but it's still really warm and I think we'll hit at least 25 degrees today. I'm ok with that :) we'll see if they are!

Annabella smiled...

...and the sun came out again!

Sunshine

Well, haven't got much to say except whining a bit about too much shit at work, my boss is loosing it (I used to think he was the best boss I ever had), the weather sucks and I haven't practiced since Sunday...

So after experiencing what could possibly have been one of the worst days in a very, very long time, I spent yesterday evening with a little someone who could bring some sunshine into my life again!

Gray Sunday

This weather isn't helping at all! Cold, rainy and gray is what awaits you if you dare step outdoors. Yuck! Today's practice was truly dense and gloomy. My arm and shoulder were cumbersome and I happened to pick a spot in between a 'moaner' and a 'squirter'! Glad I did it, though. Haven't been to my own shala on a Sunday for a long time and was pleasantly surprised to discover that Toffee Hands is teaching those days now since Bird decided to stay in Mysore a few months more than planned.

I have to do some work this afternoon. NOT happy 'bout that, but it needs to be done. Bleh...

Yesterday was kinda nice though :) Did the laundry that needs to be done in the wash house (i.e. towels and sheets). Then met Grace and Che for coffee and we spent most of the afternoon just hanging out and having a nice time together. Later I went for dinner with Daddy'O and the brother of his sister's best friend and his wife. They've been on a three week trip to Russia and made a pit stop in Stockholm before going home to Sacramento. My sister and her mom came along too. This couple is quite amazing. They're in their 80's and go for such a trip, and they told us they still go skiing and do other physical activities. And they were such a sweet and delightful couple! They seemed so happy to meet some members of our family and to go for a nice meal at a local restaurant. I hope they have a safe trip home!

Gasp, I think I'll take a nap now...

Silly dream

This morning before I woke up, I dreamed of Carl! In the dream he unexpectedly came to visit me. I don't recall much of the dream, but what I do remember is that I was all exited to bring him to my shala and that we would practice together. Carl obviously didn't want to come with me and instead scheduled to go to different classes than me, which (as you can imagine) disturbed me and made me pretty upset!

I'm well aware that dreams are just a symbol of the stuff going on in your life that the subconscious is dealing with. The people and events that occur in your dream are not the people they're really about. But the feelings usually are! So now I'm pondering on what or who made me feel rejected, because that's the feeling I woke up with. I guess poor Carl just happened to become the target of this feeling because of a comment he made the other day. Dreams can indeed be silly!

Good Thursday

Shala was packed this morning when I came in. There were lots of familiar faces, which is always nice. Lea, Archangel (who went as I was still in sun sals, though), Rock'n Roll Boy was across from me and Strong Sparrow came right after me. Humming Finn had a little too much on his hands, but I was fine with that.

The room was perfectly tempered and humid. Although slow and a bit oompa loompa (as Annabella would call it?), the sounds of my own and the others breath created the amazing meditative ambiance that i really love. All in all, one of those days I'm happy I got to the mat, in spite of everything :)

I've spent the day working with a colleague, sitting in one of my favorite cafés. A good day - we accomplished a lot! We can get into those really great discussions that are inspiring, creative and fun! I'm so sad he will be on parental leave from July until at least February next year. Of course I'm happy for him to be able to stay home with his daughter - but how will I survive without him?

Bad body parts - Part II

This shoulder of mine is killing me again. The beautifully applied tape you see in the pic is part of the treatment I'm getting from my chiropractor. It's called Kinesio Tape and can be used for many different problems, like pain, reduction of movement, joint distortions, sport injuries, arthritis, spinal problems, muscular tension and so forth.

If you know anything about anatomy, by looking at the location and form of the tape, you might come to the conclusion that the taped muscles are Supraspinatus, Deltoid and Levator scapulea. These are the ones that have been bothering me the most, but also the Rotator cuff has been a bit annoying.

The tape sticks for about 7-10 days and now we are in a stage of the treatment plan when I see the chiro every three or four weeks. The last ones I got came of on Saturday (after heavy sweating in morning practice?). This means I will be without the tape for a couple of weeks before new ones are applied again.

One thing that really seem to ease the pain is to keep the chest open. I have to constantly remind myself, especially when sitting by the computer at my desk at work. Focusing on the heart and chest, keeping the image of the heart striving towards the sky, automatically makes the muscles in the shoulders and back relax. I need a new chair, though, 'cause the one I have make me slouch. Wasn't DZM discussing work chairs a while ago? I've found one that seems very cool, Capisco, that follows your body's movements. You can turn it and sit backwards with the back of the chair against your chest, and you can raise it and stand slightly leaning on it like in a saddle.

Anyways, the shoulder have been quite ok for a month now, so I wasn't really prepared that it would start bothering me this much again. Maybe I overdid it this weekend, despite my caution? I might have to modify even more? Petri mentioned that he had a shoulder injury a few years ago. Of course he kept up his practice. But for example, he did not do Chaturanga Dandasana bending the arms, and instead going right into Urdhva Mukah Svanasana with strait arms. I think that's what I'll try and see if there is any change.

Oh, and 'summer' is over, at least for now. After a fabulous weekend, temperature dropped from 77 to 41. In the suburbs it was really cold last night and a colleague of mine said there was frost on his lawn this morning, so it must have been at least 32 there. And now it's raining. Blah.

Sunny Sunday

Today is one of those days when you'd almost think it's July rather than May. The temperature is amazing, not a cloud in the sky and warm winds tickling your sleeveless arms. And the sounds, I love to listen to the sounds. Or rather the silence. Only once in a while you hear the sounds of someone doing renovation in their apartment, someone having lunch on the balcony, kids playing in the backyard or birds twittering.

This was NOT the case last night! The fabulous weather also brings out all the party animals. It was like every other neighbor in my house decided to have a party last night! My whole backyard was like a huge discotheque :-( Closing all windows and doors and using ear-plugs was the only way to get my precious sleep!

Practice was as lovely today as it was yesterday. I still lack some energy, so taking it slow and breathing was my main focus. Actually skipped a few of the last vinyasas just to keep what little energy that was still left so I could cope all the way to Navasana. I so wanted to get Petri's assists in Marichyasana, and I did! Oh, and I did Sirsasana!!! Happy, happy, happy! First time in six months and it was sooooo good :) I love that pose! Savasana was such a treat today.

After practice me and Rock’n Roll Boy went for breakfast, which turned into lunch. We walked to the Beach Pavilion and had a really good herring with mashed potatoes, butter and lingonberries. My first decent meal in days! I haven't seen Rock’n Roll Boy since he got back from Mysore and it was really nice to spend some time together. He's a sweet guy and I have been exited to hear about his trip. It means so much to hang out with ashtangi friends once in a while, I've really missed that!